Hey everyone! Sorry about last week, if you were looking for the new posts. Our computer just up and died. And then I got a cold that really kicked my butt, and I was down for 4 days! So here I am at the library, on a way different keyboard, so bear with me! There may be a lot of typos today!!
Today's topic is overcoming our fears. I have not yet read this chapter, so, once again, I will be learning right along with you! Up until now, we have been learning about meeting our needs for today. But what about tomorrow? Tomorrow can be scary and overwhelming since a lot of the time we have trouble just getting through today! So I will quote another of my favorite quotes from Gillian on "The Biggest Loser, Season 9". She had a contestant who kept wanting to give up. So while Gill was talking to her, she discovered why. She had become accustomed to just getting through life. So Gillian in her wisdom said, "Surviving is not thriving." We were not put on this earth to simply survive. We were put here to thrive! To learn, to grow, to progress! To become the best us we can be! (did that make sense?)
Our fears become even larger once we become mothers. We fear our kids their safety. We fear for their health. We fear for their happiness. We fear for their futures. All of this can be very, very scary. Suddenly we are responsible for these others lives, and maybe we are afraid that we are not up to the task. Step number one is to name your fears. By speaking them out loud we are actually giving them less power instead of more. A lot of times, once spoken, we realize how silly our fears really are. If your thoughts are allowed to rule, our fears are allowed to grow ever stronger. My therapist always says that inside our own heads is the scariest and most dangerous place to be. Our thoughts become our reality. And what is worse, it becomes our child's reality as well. If we are afraid of letting our child cross the street, our words and our actions portray that fear to them, causing them to be afraid of it too. Instead of thinking rationally and acting intelligently, therefore, he gets panicked and runs.
Next, do some research. If you load your mind with facts instead of thoughts, those fears become easier to handle. When I first started therapy, my therapist told me I was a crisis junkie. I would jump from crisis to crisis and never take the time to wonder why all of this was happening. I would jump from getting the kids to school on time to world politics in the blink of an eye. He was able to teach me the age old concept that "If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear." (Doctrine and Covenants 38:30) Preparation is the key. If getting kids to school is a stress, prepare the night before with picking out clothes, checking homework and preparing lunches. If world events are scary to you, start a food storage and savings account for your family. Take steps necessary to insure your own families safety and the events of the world are not so scary anymore.
Fear is actually a god-given primary emotion. It can drive us and motivate us to do good things. To think things through before acting. But also remember to keep it in check. A fear of failure is good, but accepting that everyone fails sometimes and acting in spite of that fear is true courage. Michael Jordan didn't make his Junior Varsity team in High school. He failed. But he used that to drive him to become the best NBA player in the history of the game! "We miss 100% of the shots we don't take." -Wayne Gretsky.
The "what ifs" of life can also get out of control. We need to learn to think in terms of "so what if it does?" We will accept it and get through it and learn from it. That's what. Research some of those fears. Prepare for them. And what we can't learn, embrace! I have a paralyzing fear of my husband dying. He was a soldier and now is not in the best of health. His family history shows that most of his family have not lived much past the age of 60. So what do I do when this fear embraces me? I start to visualize it. How will I react when I find out? How will we cope? What about finances? And the most amazing thing starts to happen. I realize that the shock of hearing the news will not kill me. I start to see all of my friends and family lending me the support I need. I know that we have a good life insurance policy that will provide for us. The fear starts to dissipate.
So write down your fears in your journal, allowing plenty of room in between to take notes on a plan of attack for that fear. And then take action! Look over those fears and try to calculate how much time and energy has been wasted on worrying about them. If they are really overwhelming, Call upon your Father in Heaven for help and guidance in overcoming them. I know you can do it! You have just taken the first step towards becoming a secure mom. Congratulations!
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