You did it! You've succeeded in taking the first step toward become a better mom. Now that you have everything on paper, I hope you will refer to it often to remind yourself of what your vision truly is and evaluate how you are doing to get there! Feel free to add to it as other stuff pops in you mind.
Now that we've taken a step towards controlling some of our thoughts, today's step is all about our words. Words can be very powerful and once spoken aloud can dictate our mood, our behavior, and our lives. Words can be a source of black magic, or white magic not just in our lives, but also in the lives of our loved ones. How do we feel when someone tells us we can't? How do our children feel? I recently heard my 11 year old (almost) listening to a song by Selena Gomez, who she adores. I've posted the lyrics and hope you will take a minute to read them and really internalize the meaning when it comes to our kids. Who says they aren't perfect? In my eyes, my kids are perfect, but I am not very good at telling them so.
So, lets take steps to power up our vocabularies!! I think that when it comes to our homes, we tend to loosen up and let our hair down. We say things at home that we would never say in public ( ;) although those that know me probably wouldn't accuse me of this as I can be pretty blunt/crude at times) And we all know our children absorb everything we do and say. If you've ever listened in on your children playing (or arguing) you know that they are using the words you use, almost with the exact inflection and tone even. I know I have learned plenty of times that kids repeat what they hear and have had to watch what I say to and about other people around them. In fact it is when we don't think they are listening that they are actually listening the most! Take advantage of this!! Use those times to really talk your kids up! Say what a big help they are, how great they are doing in school, or just what a great kid in general they can be. This has the power to move mountains!!
As I said before, I am not very good at telling my kids how terrific they really are. Something that I have found helpful is to speak to their spirits. Let them hear you pray for them by name and individually, addressing things that you've noticed about them to our Father in Heaven. Also I found that it is easier to talk to them when they are asleep. I sometimes sneak into their rooms and just gently stroke thier hair and whisper how glad I am that they are in my life and how much I love them. For me this works miracles!
Now, get out your "journal" I spoke of starting yesterday and make two columns. In the first column write down all of the negative things you say, not just to them but also around the house or about yourself (kids pick up on this too!). Then in the second column write down a more positive way to say that same thing. For example, if you are always saying how sick and tired you are of this or that, instead try saying that that thing is challenging you, or helping you to grow. Instead of saying you need to lose weight or wish for a healthier body; instead try saying that you are working on getting healthy. then ask yourself the question. What is it that you really want? I have posted this question around my house this morning and hope it will serve as a reminder when I feel about ready to yell at or demean myself or my kids. I worked on this list all morning and know it is extremely difficult to come up with those positive counterparts, but do not give up! once we have them written down we can more easily refer to them and incorporate them into our daily vocabulary.
On the next page, make four columns and label them: Home, Health, Family, and Life. In each of these columns write down positive and empowering statements that you can say to yourself whenever one of these areas becomes too overwhelming. Just saying outlous, "I love my home." can completely transform your attitude about the house you live in. Read these words every day and remind yourself of what you truly have and are thankful for. As you begin meeting your goals in each of these areas you can add to them and let your self talk grow along with you!
I know that controlling our words is not an easy task. Especially since we all know that as soon as we say we want to do better, on of our kids will have a breakdown in the store and our temper thermometers will be at its peak. But just remember that is a process and we can always start over from that moment. One of my favorite quotes from Hannah is "Sloppy success is better than perfect failure." So keep trying! It may not be pretty, but it is worth the effort! Have a good day and have fun with it!
No comments:
Post a Comment