Day Fourteen- House Rules

Managing our homes and families has never been, and will never be, easy. Just trying to keep the house is a challenge when we have our children running right behind us messing up what we just cleaned. Right? But, there are strategies that we can employ to save our sanity and make some dents in the housework and still have a life! Lets face it, there is more to life than a clean house, but we sure feel better when it is. So, Hannah Keeley gives us seven rules for staying on top of it while still having time for your health and your family. 

#1 is Structure. Schedule for yourself a set time every day to work on the housework. Whether that be a "block" of time for 20 to 60 minutes, or cleaning a little bit every day, make sure its on a schedule. Keeping it at the same time every day will make it a habit, and make it easier to get it done. Something I like to do is have an hour block, and then set a timer for ten minutes in each room. You'd be surprised how much you can get done in ten minutes!

#2 is Clean When it is Dirty. A lot of moms I know get all stressed out over how often the windows are cleaned, how often the sheets get changed, or the walls get scrubbed. Relax!! Yes, there is a time when those things and many more need done, but trying to get it done once a day, week, or even month and those are the things that will drive you insane!! So, how do we handle it? Schedule, clean, and then rate how long it takes to get dirty. Then clean it. And you'll have a better idea of when to schedule it the next time around. Also, pay attention to your families habits. Obviously if you have toddlers or small children at home, your vacuuming needs are greater than a mom's who's kids are in school all day. If it's not dusty, don't dust it. If it's not dirty, don't clean it. And if it is, make the job a slave to your schedule, instead of becoming a slave to the job!

#3 is Hide the Evidence. This one is easy. Bins, baskets, drawers, cabinets. These are the tools of a successful mother! Nothing is easier than throwing the stuff that clutters your home into a bin or drawer. Label everything so you can find it later, and be sure that when the time comes to clean that zone, that you clean out the baskets and cabinets as well. Remember that clean is 10% perspiration and 90% perception!

#4 is the Art of Camouflage. When decorating your home, be sure to choose colors and fabrics that wear and wash well. Scotchgard is your friend! Avoid white! Make sure the colors and fabrics that don't wash well at least hide the dirt well!! And keep the bottom half of your walls painted with washable paint or darker colors to keep the scrubbing down to a minimum.

#5 is to Set an Ultimatum. I have a confession to make. Pretty much the only time my house gets 100% cleaned is when I am having a party. So, if the risk of having other people see your house a mess is a motivation for you to clean it, plan a party! Host a girl's night, or book club meeting. Have a special family dinner. Whatever will motivate you! The holidays are right around the corner!

#6 Foster Habits of Completion. Get into habits of cleaning up after yourself. When you unwrap something, throw away the trash right then. When you come into the house, hangup your jackets and coats. When kids walk into the door from school, make sure their backpacks, lunchboxes, homework, etc. gets put away in the proper places. Cleaning up the mess as you make it gets it done a lot quicker, and it never has a chance to make an appearance on the to-do list! Teaching this concept to your kids also makes housework a lot easier!

#7 and most importantly Enlist the Troops. At times we as moms figure that if we want it done right we have to do it ourselves. This however is not only a great injustice to ourselves, but also to our family members. How are our children going to learn how to be responsible citizens if they can't even keep a clean room? How will our husbands know how much to appreciate us if he doesn't have to pitch in once in a while?  ;) Also, teaching all our kids basic home repair, car repair, cooking and sewing will help them, as well as us to be more self reliant. But in order to get them to do the work, they, like us, need some kind of incentive. The first incentive, of course, being to praise, praise, praise our kids!!! I was at a friend's house the other day visiting her and her new baby. Pretty soon the  grandmother comes in to inform us that her four year old son is outside cleaning up the dog poop. Did he get praise when he came in? You better believe it!! But, occasionally they need a little more than just a pat on the back. So, we need to set our expectations and  work with them to determine a reward system. You can't be complaining that all they do is watch t.v. when you haven't set forth the expectations! So come up with a system that is within their ability to achieve, while rewarding them with time with their friends, t.v. time, or even their allowance. The real world doesn't give us what we need just because we exist! Teach them this principle through example and hard work.

Our homework, and I mean OUR homework, is to come up with a chore chart for yourself. Think of all that absolutely has to be done in any given week. Take off what can reasonably be done by your children. Then take what is left and divide it among the days of the week. Don't be afraid to have days off, or to treat yourself with a "pajama" day! Plan what time of the day will work best for you as your standard "chore time" and wa-la! A workable chore chart! For a terrific idea on a kids chore chart that was referred to me by my homeschooler friend, that has completely transformed the way my kids do chores see the links below. Hannah also has some terrific ideas at her website for both you and your kids! So feel free to go there as well! Good luck and guess what! We are half way there!! Congratulations, you are now a Secure Mom! I hope that you are feeling much more confident in your momabilities and most importantly in you as a person! I know that even though I am not perfect in a single one of these days (-yet!) that I feel 100% more capable, more strong, and more confident than when I started this journey. Let me know how you are doing, and if I can help in any way!

Day Thirteen-Get Rear in Gear

Create a better tomorrow by making the most of today.

I feel like I could just end there. That simple statement is powerful, isn't it? But sometimes we don't always know how to do that, or we do and just plain don't feel like it. So, here are some tips to getting a great start on your day and get your rear in gear!!


Getting up early seems like the obvious first choice for getting a jump on the day. Getting up before the kids do allows some time to yourself. You can go on a nice walk, get a jump on the housework, or just enjoy a quiet moment before the chaos begins! Sometimes, as full time moms whole days can go by without any time to ourselves. This would be one way to get some me-time. BUT, and this is a big but, know yourself!! I am NOT a morning person!! Every time I make a goal like this (and I have tried this a LOT), I get up early, get a ton done, and then I am exhausted by about 2:30 and I end up taking a nap, and ignore the kids the rest of the evening. So, for me it works to get up at the same time as the kids, and then take my time after they go to bed. And strangely I am not tired once they are in bed. I get to be me! And that is exciting.

If you can make the early morning work for you here are some tips to make it a little easier. First, reward yourself! Buy something special for yourself that will help motivate yourself. A new workout outfit, A special breakfast cereal, or snack, heck, treat yourself to chocolate! Whatever will motivate you to get out of bed.

There are a lot of benefits to getting up early. It not only awakens your body, but it awakens and sharpens your mind. It gives you time to organize the rest of your day and maybe do some breathing exercises before facing the inevitable messes of breakfast, finding backpacks, shoes, and/ or homework. It will help you to have the patience to deal with all of this patiently so that your kids are going to school with a smile and hug from mom instead of "You're going to be late!! Get a move on!" the kids that are staying home will behave better when you are in a good mood, and the whole day will go a lot smoother. Exercising during this time not only helps you get in shape, but energizes you, so again you can keep up with those kids!! It also improves your immune system so that you stay healthy, specially with flu season coming up.

When starting an exercise program, think about the frequency you want to do it. A good starting point is three days a week. once this becomes a habit, increase the frequency a little at a time until you are where you want to be, whether that's five or even seven days. Be aware of the intensity of your workouts. You don't have to sweat bullets, or pull a muscle to have a good workout. The only thing that has to be done is that your heart rate gets elevated, and that you can still talk easily during the workout. Walking is ideal for this because you can gradually increase the intensity, and even carry hand weights. Lastly, how much time can you spend? When just starting out, about twenty minutes is ideal. Then increase it gradually as you fitness level and enjoyment increase. In speaking of exercise, choose something that pushes you a little, that you can build on, and is FUN! I am a yoga freak, but haven't been able to find any classes that I can afford at the times I am available to do them. So I looked on Netflix. I found a whole series of different exercise videos from yoga to pilates, and cardio to weight training. The best part about them is that they are all broken down into 10 minute segments!! So I can choose today lets do ten minutes of abs and ten minutes of yoga for flexibility. I get a great workout in just 20 minutes, and I can do it in my jammies!

The hardest part, however, is staying motivated. In fact, it is impossible. The only way that any change sticks, is by little bits and keeping the end goal in mind. In a word, determination! Determination comes into play when every obstacle in the world stands in your way and you are so focused on your goals that you grit your teeth, close your eyes, and do what needs to be done. Motivation is feeling compelled to do what you should. Determination is doing it even when your not motivated.

Day Twelve- Mommy 911

Something that I constantly struggle with is maintaining order in my home. Our kids can change from angels to demons in the blink of an eye. That alone is enough to make even the most patient of moms go ballistic! Not to mention all the fighting over chores and homework.  So, today we are going to discuss some ways to keep your cool and create some structure to keep you sane! Some of this will be a repeat from earlier posts, but who can't benefit from hearing information again? Let's discuss some DO's and DON'Ts of dealing with our kids in healthy ways.

DO Listen! Sometimes we want things done, we want them done now, and we want them done our way! Come hell or high water. We forget that, not only are they individuals, they are also needing to learn. The best way for them to learn is to let them make mistakes. Also, if we take the time and attention necessary to truly listen to our kids, we gain a better understanding of who they are and therefore a better understanding of how best to handle misbehavior. Because we are adults we have the tendency to think we have all the answers. Believe me, we don't! So don't be afraid to ask your children about their feelings, their opinions, and what makes them tick. What works for one child can be disastrous for another. A great book out there is called "The Five Love Languages of Children". In it Gary Chapman gives information on each love language. He makes it very simple to decipher what speaks most to your child, and how to best show your child how much you love him/her. A child with her love cup full, is a better behaved child. He/She is also an easier to deal with child, since you know how best to communicate with them!

DON'T Threaten! Threats do nothing but tell your child that they have the control. They have made the grownup lose it. It also really limits your options. Follow through with the threat, or look like a fool who never means it when you say it. And I don't know about you, but I have made several threats that there is no way I would ever follow through on. What about threatening to leave them in a public place cause they don't want to leave? We all do this one. And we all know we would never leave said location without our child. Once threats come out of our mouths, we give our children all the cards. We give them all of the control. Another way to give them our control is to start counting. I have modified this to counting down. As in, 3, 2, 1. They get a time-out if the behavior doesn't stop, but they have learned that the behavior is okay, up to that point. When what they need to learn is that the behavior is unacceptable. Period.

DO Allow Consequences! We are doing our children a grave disservice if we try to shield them from the perils of life. Let them fight until it becomes a threat to their safety. This teaches them how to deal with others who have different opinions than theirs. If they have a problem picking up their toys, they get lost, broken, or taken away. If they like to make excuses for stalling eating their dinner, set a time limit. Do you think the cafeteria at school lets them sit there all day waiting for them to eat their lunch? We need these lessons! Life throws us all kinds of crap on a daily basis and it would be a catastrophe for them to not know how to face and cope with these things. They need to develop an internal navigation system to make their way through life.

DON'T Label! Be very careful of this. It is very easy to slip and say the child is bad, instead of the behavior. Yesterday my daughter was arguing about some chores she needed to do. It turned into a total screaming match between her and my husband. My husband and I have an agreement that when one of us is losing it, the other steps in. So I called Anna to my side, took her in my arms and waited for her to get her breathe back. Then I calmly explained why we work as a family to get things done. I told her that when she was done she would have more time free to play later. She understood and went and did the chore in question. If I had said something like "You always do this. Why must you always be such a brat! Just do what your told!" How does she feel then? She's not thinking, "Wow, my mom sure loves me! I should change my behavior!" Not a chance! She's fearful, she's withdrawn, and she's not motivated to do the chore. She'll do it, but she'll do just enough to avoid the wrath and then be whiny the rest of the day. Always assume the best in your kids! And when the slip-ups happen, label the behavior not the child.

DO Be an Adult! Just because our children act like brats, doesn't mean we have to! When you feel the blood start to boil, remove yourself from the situation for a minute. Gently put the child in a safe place letting them know you will be back to talk to them. Once you have calmed down and figured out the best way to deal with the problem, then go talk to the child. And guess what? The child will have calmed down too, and a precious teaching moment can occur. Instead of reacting, ACT!

DON'T Push Their Limits! This one is hard to know where the line is. We all have our limits to what we can do, and we have to recognize that in our children. They are people too! Not little machines put on this earth to do our bidding. Our children get tired, stressed, overwhelmed, and fearful, just like we do. So in listening to our children from above, we need to also recognize their limits. My son started all day kindergarten this year. His little body is having a hard time adjusting to this new schedule and comes home excited to share his day, but try to give him a task such as homework, or chores, and he completely melts down. He needs a little down time and a chance to be him before being able to take on more responsibility. So, while I want him to get homework done while we were still thinking about it, my expectations have to come second to his ability to comply to them. Communicate, assist, and try to understand. Learn to see the world through their eyes! It is a great view!

Assignment: With your child, list some of the areas that seem to be reoccurring the most often. And then work together to come up with solutions and positive reinforcements that will work for both of you. Then, come up with a way to keep track of progress made. Charts, stickers, tokens, lists, whatever works for you and excites your child. Working together not only fosters good communication, it also lets your child know that they have some control over what is going on in their lives. But most importantly, it lets them know you love them!

Day Eleven- Manage Your Resources

Okay ladies. Time to take a good hard look at ourselves and what we really want and how we are going to achieve it. Visualize it. See it. Feel it. C'mon. Get a good solid view of it. Now I guarantee that at least some of your vision is going to require money. Whether it be a bigger house, or some redecorating, or just something simple, like a new wardrobe that makes you feel stylish and sexy and a gym membership, it is going to require money.

Some of you might be thinking, "Oh, I let my husband handle all of that." Okay, maybe he does handle paying the bills, but who does the grocery shopping? Who makes sure that the kids have clothes on their backs? Who has that soft spot and just can't resist getting them a treat while you are running errands? Or the pile of presents at Christmastime, no matter the cost? We do!! In essence, we control the family's finances. So what are we doing with them? Do we continually find that there is more month at the end of the money? Why?

Honestly, for me it required really studying how I spent money. For two weeks I want you to keep EVERY single receipt, EVERY TIME you make even the smallest purchase. Even if its just a soda, or a cup of coffee! At the end of two weeks, add up all that you spent on things that were not absolute essentials. Fast food, donuts, late fees, a small treat while you shop for necessities. These things add up! My husband buys at least one large soda every day. So for the month we pay $30+ on my husband's caffeine fix. And then we sometimes struggle to find enough for my son's asthma medication of the same price. But those little habits are hard to break.

What we need to do is take 30 seconds to ask ourselves three simple questions.
#1, Do I need this? This is very easy to confuse with wants. Our needs are items that are necessary for our health, our home, and other areas that we cannot thrive without. If it doesn't fall into one of these categories, it is not a need.
#2, Can I make it or use something I already have? Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without is my motto. Cut off the old sweatpants to use at the gym. Make a pizza at home, rather than buying one. Paint an old picture frame instead of buying a new one. Get creative with the resources you already have!
#3, Will this purchase help me reach my vision? Remember what we are working towards and take small steps toward reaching those goals. If you are redecorating, that gallon of paint is a justifiable purchase. If you are working on a new wardrobe and find a cute jacket on sale, absolutely go ahead and get it. But if you are working toward a new house, putting that toy back on the shelf will be a lot easier with the big picture in mind. If you want a big family vacation, then it is easier to pass on that pack of gum or candy bar at the checkout stand. Keeping the vision in mind in all that you do and buy will help you reach those goals so much faster! Plus, the less we buy, the less clutter we have to deal with later and the less impact we have on the environment (if you care about that sort of thing.) Not to mention the example that is to our kids! Doing without for now to have a brighter future is an excellent tool that the children of this generation desperately need!

Day Ten- Acting on your Fears

Hey everyone! Sorry about last week, if you were looking for the new posts. Our computer just up and died. And then I got a cold that really kicked my butt, and I was down for 4 days! So here I am at the library, on a way different keyboard, so bear with me! There may be a lot of typos today!!

Today's topic is overcoming our fears. I have not yet read this chapter, so, once again, I will be learning right along with you! Up until now, we have been learning about meeting our needs for today. But what about tomorrow? Tomorrow can be scary and overwhelming since a lot of the time we have trouble just getting through today! So I will quote another of my favorite quotes from Gillian on "The Biggest Loser, Season 9". She had a contestant who kept wanting to give up. So while Gill was talking to her, she discovered why. She had become accustomed to just getting through life. So Gillian in her wisdom said, "Surviving is not thriving."  We were not put on this earth to simply survive. We were put here to thrive! To learn, to grow, to progress! To become the best us we can be! (did that make sense?)

Our fears become even larger once we become mothers. We fear our kids their safety. We fear for their health. We fear for their happiness. We fear for their futures. All of this can be very, very scary. Suddenly we are responsible for these others lives, and maybe we are afraid that we are not up to the task. Step number one is to name your fears. By speaking them out loud we are actually giving them less power instead of more. A lot of times, once spoken, we realize how silly our fears really are. If your thoughts are allowed to rule, our fears are allowed to grow ever stronger. My therapist always says that inside our own heads is the scariest and most dangerous place to be. Our thoughts become our reality. And what is worse, it becomes our child's reality as well. If we are afraid of letting our child cross the street, our words and our actions portray that fear to them, causing them to be afraid of it too. Instead of thinking rationally and acting intelligently, therefore, he gets panicked and runs.

Next, do some research. If you load your mind with facts instead of thoughts, those fears become easier to handle. When I first started therapy, my therapist told me I was a crisis junkie. I would jump from crisis to crisis and never take the time to wonder why all of this was happening. I would jump from getting the kids to school on time to world politics in the blink of an eye. He was able to teach me the age old concept that "If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear." (Doctrine and Covenants 38:30) Preparation is the key. If getting kids to school is a stress, prepare the night before with picking out clothes, checking homework and preparing lunches. If world events are scary to you, start a food storage and savings account for your family. Take steps necessary to insure your own families safety and the events of the world are not so scary anymore.

Fear is actually a god-given primary emotion. It can drive us and motivate us to do good things. To think things through before acting. But also remember to keep it in check. A fear of failure is good, but accepting that everyone fails sometimes and acting in spite of that fear is true courage. Michael Jordan didn't make his Junior Varsity team in High school. He failed. But he used that to drive him to become the best NBA player in the history of the game! "We miss 100% of the shots we don't take." -Wayne Gretsky.

The "what ifs" of life can also get out of control. We need to learn to think in terms of "so what if it does?" We will accept it and get through it and learn from it. That's what. Research some of those fears. Prepare for them. And what we can't learn, embrace! I have a paralyzing fear of my husband dying. He was a soldier and now is not in the best of health. His family history shows that most of his family have not lived much past the age of 60. So what do I do when this fear embraces me? I start to visualize it. How will I react when I find out? How will we cope? What about finances? And the most amazing thing starts to happen. I realize that the shock of hearing the news will not kill me. I start to see all of my friends and family lending me the support I need. I know that we have a good life insurance policy that will provide for us. The fear starts to dissipate.

So write down your fears in your journal, allowing plenty of room in between to take notes on a plan of attack for that fear. And then take action! Look over those fears and try to calculate how much time and energy has been wasted on worrying about them. If they are really overwhelming, Call upon your Father in Heaven for help and guidance in overcoming them. I know you can do it! You have just taken the first step towards becoming a secure mom. Congratulations!

Day Nine- Building Structure

Today I wanted to focus on establishing a routine. If you have ever tried this before you know how difficult it is. Which is why I want to switch the word "routine" with "structure". To me it sounds a lot more flexible than routine. This just means that you have a rough idea of how things are going to go. That way when things come up, its a lot easier to go with the flow. I used to be a perfectionist mom. Everything had to go exactly the way I planned it, or I was not a happy camper. A very wise man once said to me, "Expectations are just resentments waiting to happen." So, lose the expectations! Start to enjoy life for all the surprises it throws at us. Learn to laugh at yourself, and those things that are out of your control. I know that there are plenty of times that we feel overwhelmed. My hope is that by implementing these steps into your days, that out of control feeling will dissipate. Especially after all the stuff I have thrown at you over the past couple of weeks.

First step is to set aside a couple of minutes before you go to bed to run a quick sweep of your home. Just straighten a bit so you wake up to a clean(er) house. Wipe counters, pick up trash and toys, and do anything else that needs tweaking. It doesn't need to be perfect, just good enough. This is going to be really hard for me at first. I look at what needs to be done, and am great at telling myself to leave it to tomorrow. So I make a pledge to you that tonight I will get up off the couch and straighten my house before bed. Then lay out the clothes and shoes you are going to wear the next day. Remember to "Dump the Frump" and make it something that makes you feel empowered. Maybe even throw in some jewelry. But also makes sure it is comfortable or you won't want to put it on. I tell myself that it is just as easy to put on flattering jeans as it is to put on sweat pants. They both go on one leg at a time! 

Now grab your planner. Glance through what you have scheduled for the next day and mentally and physically prepare yourself. Make sure that those actions planned are in line with your vision! Remind yourself of what that is. Read your journal entry or look at your collage. Every night remember what the ultimate goal is, and how good you will feel with every step you take toward that end. Also use this time to write down any other things that need done tomorrow. Make your "To Do" list. The general rule of thumb to help keep the anxiety from creeping up is to only let this list be 5 items long. And make your first item to do whatever it is you do for your spiritual health. And make number 2 to read in your journal and the blog. So that's only 3 more things to put on the list! The beauty of this is that even if you only get one thing done, that one thing is your communion with your Father in Heaven. And, that's the most important thing! If you only get 2 things done, you have taken time for god, and then for yourself! And your journal will push you to get going and finish the list!

In the morning make your structure to do #1 and #2 on you to do list. Make sure you pick a time in the morning that you can focus solely on yourself. If that means setting an alarm and getting up earlier, so be it. Aren't you worth it? Or pick a time when the kids are napping, or otherwise occupied. Just be sure to take time for yourself!! This will help put a positive perspective on the day. Before anyone gets up, get ready for the day. Get dressed, do your hair, put on a little makeup. You will not believe the head start this gives to your day.

Look at your planner and lists for today and refresh yourself on what needs to accomplished. Remember some of our action steps from day four. Make it fun! Piggyback your tasks! Reward yourself every step of the way!

With that out of the way, time to get specific. Today (or in the near future) let's take some action steps in each of the four areas we are continually working to get better. First: Home. Put together a playlist of all your favorite happy, bounce around, party songs and begin work on de-cluttering Zone 1. Use Action Step #2 and break it down into blocks and take baby steps. Today, mine is going to be my family room.

Second: Health. This is the week you start weeding out the seven toxic foods from your diet. Today your focus should be bad fats. Replace vegetable oil with canola or olive oil. Check the labels of your favorite snack food for bad fat content. And avoid anything deep fried, especially from fast food. Tomorrow focus on addictive substances, including sugar, salt, and caffiene. And so on, and so on. But remember to take it just little bits at a time.

Third: Family. Plan a weekend very soon for you and your husband to get away and reconnect. Or at least schedule a night all to yourselves. Send the kids to grandma's and just be together in an empty house. Go over the tips in day five to make yourself feel sexy, and also to remember what it was like when your husband couldn't keep his hands off you! ;0 Happy (and satisfied) couples are happy parents. Happy parents means happy kids!

And fourth: Life. Buy a good, comfortable pair of shoes. I found a pair in an Avon catalogue. They are on sale right now (I just checked) for only 19.99! They are supportive, comfy, and look cute with almost anything! Go to avon.com if you are interested. Just find something that works for you!

I have been feeling like I have been throwing a lot of stuff at you and you are probably feeling overwhelmed. So I hope that todays blog will help you in organizing your thoughts and in planning those baby steps that you want to take every day.  You are doing great! and Congratulations! According to Hannah's book, you are now a Basic Mom! This means you are one step closer to becoming the Total Mom! Tomorrow be prepared to become a Secure Mom.

Day Eight-Extreme Diet Makeover

Disclaimer: I will tell you everything that Hannah says about reforming our diets and getting healthier and fueling our bodies with the right fuel. However, I do not agree with some of what she says. And, frankly, neither did my doctor. So, listen to what she has to say, but make sure you clear any of this with your doctor before making these changes.

Okay. We all know that we are what we eat. Right? I mean this very literally. If you are sitting at home eating "bon-bons", as the cliche says, then soon you look like a bon-bon, and worse you feel like one! If you put junk into your body, then junk comes out! Your energy levels are low, your productivity is low, and worse, your attitude is low. Hannah says that this is the one step that has the highest return on your investment! Everything from your mood to your complexion improve when you start eating better. But, slow and steady is the name of the game. If you go up into your kitchen right now and start to throw all the junk food away, guess what? You are going to fail. No ifs ands or buts about it, you will fail. But, by making small little changes everyday and you will discover with each little change, a small little gift will come with it. (I just read that sentance and can't believe something that eloquent just poured out of my brain. Hee-hee.) And you will become a happier and healthier you! Okay, here's Hannah's plan.

B is for bad fats. Now, the total amount of fat in your diet does not cause disease. What makes the difference is the type of fat. We have all heard that the trans fat is the bad fat. Everything now days is labeled "No trans fat". And there is a reason for that. So become a label reader! On the nutrition label the very first section is Total Fat. Then underneath that it breaks it down to trans fat, and saturated fat. Look for foods with zero trans fats!! Also, there are good fats. If the fat is labeled monounsaturated, or polyunsaturated eat that food! Good fats reduce harmful cholesterol; cushion, insulate and lubricate organs; and aid in metabolosm.

A is for addictive substances. These can sneak in the back door and hold our health hostage. So if you drink alcohol, smoke, or are dependant on non-prescribed narcotics, cut them out of your life!! There is absolutely zero value in any of these things!! I know some people claim they drink red wine for the "antioxidants". But guess what? You get the exact same thing (if not more) from a glass of real grape juice! Probably the bigger threat to my demographic is caffiene. Whether it is coffee, soda, or chocolate (mine), it can be very addictive. We convince ourselves that we need it to wake up. We need it to keep going through a hard afternoon. We need it to cope with the stress of life. Baloney!! Start taking steps now to cut it out of your life! Just cut back one soda or cup of coffee every day. Do NOT try to go cold turkey! Not only will your body make you pay for it. But your mind will keep telling you you need it as well. Another highly addictive substance is processed sugar. Look for items that use honey (a natural substance), or evaporated cane juice (unprocessed sugar). When baking or needing a calorie free sweetener, Stevia is a natural herbal sweetener. I know how difficult this is, as well, so again, do it little by little. Sweeten coffee or tea with honey. Look for natural forms of foods that you already eat and feed those to your family. They need to get used to this way of eating too! Momma does the shopping and the cooking. You eat what Momma gives you! It will be easier on you if you wean your kids off it as well.

D is for dairy. Now, while I agree that a lot of dairy is not good, I do believe she goes a little overboard here. It is true that commercial dary is chock full of cholesterol. It is also full of other things that are not so appetizing. Pesticides, hormones, antibiotics, steroids, and even pus and blood have been known to be found in milk from the store. Dairy has been linked to several diseases from cancer to heart disease to even osteoporosis! She claims that our bodies are just not built to metabolize dairy. I disagree. While it is possible to live dairy free (there are so many options out there! I know, I have a kid who is allergic to dairy) it is not necessary. One option I have found, besides reducing the amount I take in, is to get your milk delivered. Private farms will usually guarantee that they don't use hormones, or other chemicals in their milk. And they taste great! We do need calcium, too. There are other sources to get it other than milk. Soy, broccoli, figs, chickpeas, kale, almonds and calcium-enriched foods and juices. Discuss with your doctor what your options are. I don't need to lose wieght, I just need to eat healthier, so to me it is not worth it to cut out dairy completely. Also, yogurt is still an essential in any diet. The probiotics and good bacterias in it are great for digestion and that is where 70% of your immune system is located. And most of it is fat free!

C is for chemicals. This is another area where you have to read labels! A general rule of thumb is "if you can't pronounce it, you shouldn't eat it!" (this does not apply to me with acai berries! I still don't know how to say that. :P) Look for these words as things to avoid at all costs! Acesulfame-k (AKA Sweet One or Sunset), Artificial colors, Aspartame (AKA Equal or Nutrasweet), Butylated hydroxynisole (BHA), Butylated hydroxytoluene (BHT) Monosodium glutamate (MSG), Nitrites and nitrates, Olestra, Potassium bromate, and Sulfites.

R is for refined carbohydrates. Carbs are not bad! They are essential for healthy digestion. The food industry discovered long ago that if they take out the bran, germ, and germ oil from wheat that bread looked prettier and lasted longer. Unfortunately our bodies really have to work to digest this overprocessed crap. The same goes for rice and sugar. If it does not look like what it looks like fresh picked, don't eat it! Read labels and look for words like "whole" or "natural". This step alone can reduce not only digestive problems, but also headaches, behavioral problems, and a weakened immune system. This is also a step that will be really hard for your family to accept. Again, start small. Switch on the sly to first Sara Lee whole wheat white bread and whole wheat pasta. They won't know the difference! Then gradually step it up and get more and more close to natural looking.

A is for animal protein. Again, Hannah and I don't see eye to eye on this one. She stresses the fact that meat is a really dense food, and therefore really hard to digest. This is true! However, according to my doctor, if you are getting enough fiber in your diet (see letter R) then it shouldn't be a problem. Meat is not only good for protein. Red meat also has iron and calcium. Fish contains omega vitamins. White meat is low in fat and and easier to digest. So, while Hannah says to cut it out completely, again, I tell you to consult your doctor who knows you and your needs. So, if you don't want to become a full vegetarian, just shop and cook smarter. Get the highest quality you can afford. I'm not gonna lie. It is expensive to eat healthy! But if you can, substitute ground turkey for ground beef. Get the lowest fat percentage possible on pork and steak. Be sure to trim any excess fat from chicken and pork before freezing, storing or eating.

P is for processed food. "Quick and easy" has become the motto for America. And our diets are no different. How much easier it it to fix a box meal that has all the flavor in a powdered form than to cook your own wih fresh ingredients? Lots!! But how much better does the fresh one taste? Lots!! This one I learned a long time ago. Everytime I look at a box of hamburger helper or something, I know now that not only can I make it better, but in some cases, I can make it faster! Stuff that has to simmer forever so all that powdered gunk can dissolve is time you can be chopping fresh herbs and spices, fresh veggies, and cooking your whole wheat pasta. Fast food is the same. Did you know that McDonalds coats pretty much everything they serve in sugar? No wonder we love it so much! So instead of reaching for that quick and easy snack, reach for that quick and easy whole food. Get dried fruit instead of fruit snacks. Get unsweetened applesauce instead of artificially sweetened, whole corn chips over fried potato chips. Try as much as possible to eat food in as close to its natural form as possible.

Now I don't know if you noticed scrolling down this list, but all of those letters put together spell B.A.D. C.R.A.P. An easy acronym to remember as you embark on the task of making over your eating habits. Just remember, baby steps to success! Start today to start removing the bad fats from your diet. Next week move to the addictive substances. Or practice "piggybacking" your tasks and do one small thing in each group per week. However you want to do it. Plan out next weeks meals and look for healthier ways to prepare them. Replace the white rice with brown. The white noodles with whole wheat. Use fresh herbs instead of jarred. Lower the fat content of your meats. Simple little steps to make a big difference in not only how you look, but also how your feel! Look for those small gifts every day. They will come! I promise!

Day Seven- Dump the Frump

Yesterday, I had a bad day. Woke up with a headache. Went back to bed after the kids went to school. Stayed in my sweats all day. Accomplished absolutely nothing. Even forgot to take my meds. So when I read todays chapter, I was feeling the guilt pretty hard. But then I realized that each and every day is a chance to start over. So I got in the shower, I put on clothes that are comfortable, yet stylish. I did my hair. I put on a little makeup. I took my dogs for a walk. I took my meds. I ate a decent breakfast. Today I will accomplish something.

In the book, Hannah talks about how we as moms tend to let ourselves go. Some of us don't get up and go to work in the morning, so it is tempting to just stay in our jammies all day. Whats the point getting all dressed up if all we are going to be doing is housework and chasing our kids all day. She says that just because we don't recieve a paycheck, doesn't mean we don't work! In fact, we have the most challenging, self-sacrificing, and rewarding job there is. If we have a regular nine-five job we get up, get dressed in nice clothes, put on makeup and go to work. What we have to do is get rid of this idea that we are "just moms". Make a conscious decision to make motherhood your career. Take pride in your work of running a good household. Sometimes we may be discouraged and start to think "What's the point?" Well, Hannah offers up five.

#1 Your self esteem. If you look frumpy, you feel frumpy and portray to others that you don't have a lot of respect for yourself, or what you do. Take pride in your life's work and show it in your appearance! We are raising the leaders of tomorrow!

#2 Your children. Our children are constantly watching us. They love us unconditionally. They emulate everything we do, good or bad. This love propels us to want to be the best mothers we can be. So what are they learning from the way we act and dress? My children have been through incredible things. A dad who was in Iraq for a year and a mother with undiagnosed bi-polar disorder during that time. It has forced them to grow up way before their time, and made them very used to seeing me in my pajama's all day. In fact, if I did get dressed they asked where we were going. That was the only reason to get dressed. I had no self respect. I cared about nothing. Since my diagnosis and treatment, however, I have found it again. And I am trying really hard to make up for all those years that I wasn't there for them. If my appearance will help them see that, it is worth it.

#3 Your husband. He tends to get the short end of the stick when it comes to your appearance. Now, he loves you and says that he doesn't care what you look like, but how do you think he feels coming home to a harried, disheveled woman every night. "It's not sexist to want to look good for your husband. Its considerate." says Hannah. Wouldn't we start to lose respect for our husbands if he hung around in pajamas all day, unshaven and stinky? Keep the home fires burning by making a little effort every day!

#4 Your career. We have chosen to be mothers as our full time jobs. On behalf of all moms everywhere, let's show the world that we respect what we have chosen to do.

#5 Your motivation. When you look good, you feel good. When you feel good, you accomplish a lot more. When you accomplish a lot, you feel even better and it motivates you to keep it up! Heaven knows we could use all the motivation we can get! I know we all have those days when motivation seems miles away. So if we aren't feeling it, fake it! Our brains don't know how to feel until we tell it. So tell it you feel great by dressing and acting the part, and eventually you will!

Now, go through your wardrobe and take out anything that doesn't make you feel energized. Write in your journal what you need to complete your wardrobe. Every mom needs some good shoes that are comfortable yet stylish. Ditch your "mom jeans" for jeans that flatter your figure and make you feel sexy. Find some cute skirts that are easy to move in, but show off your legs as well. Have some nice khakis, capris, and shorts. Toss those baggy t-shirts for some that are flirty and fitted to your body type. Have cute jackets that are easy to throw on, yet pull your outfit together nicely. Sell or donate the old stuff and use the money to go out and get these new essentials to your wardrobe. Shop second hand or discount stores to save even more money! You'd be amazed at how cute you can look in clothes from Wal-mart! Before you go to bed at night, lay out the clothes you are going to wear tomorrow. Maybe choose some jewelry to go with it. Straighten the bathroom so that in the morning you can look at yourself in a clean mirror.

Empower yourself by taking the time to look good. For the world, your kids, your husband, and most importantly, yourself! Dressing feminine is a sign of strength. Beauty is strength. And I know you are a strong woman!

Day Six-Cut the Clutter!

Hello! It's really day seven, but I missed a day. Sorry!! We'll just pretend it's day six. ;) Today we get to talk about my least favorite subject! Clutter!!

Hannah asks us some tough questions. The first is: Do you have time for clutter? One study says that americans spend over 9 million hours looking for things that are lost or misplaced. I know I have been late on more than one occasion due to lost keys, coats, or especially shoes! We waste precious time playing hide and seek with our stuff rather than our kids!

Second, Do you have the money for clutter? We not only pay for clutter, but then we pay to keep it. Do we have furniture or exercise equipment that just take up space and collect dust? How many clothes do we have in our closets that we don't wear? This is valuable real estate! Instead make your clutter work for you. Sell or donate it and with the tax-write off/ profit re-do a room or organize a closet with one of those organization kits and shelves.

Third, Do you have the room for clutter? Look around you. What else could be done in those corners, closets, and spare rooms that are now filled to the brim with clutter? The possibilities are endless!

Fourth, Do you have the energy for clutter? How much time do we spend picking up, organizing, and shuffling around clutter? How much easier would housekeeping be if there was no clutter?

And fifth and most importantly, Do you have the attitude for clutter? I know how much better I feel when a room is clutter free. I stated in an earlier post that a cluttered room is a cluttered mind. Your home is where you should feel at peace and be able to escape from the world. It is tough to do that when everywhere you look there's trash, stacks, and piles.

Let's plan our attack! First, we need four containers. One for trash, donations, put away items, and a box for "I can't part with it yet" stuff. Second, choose one area to work on and make sure you have enough time to complete it. This weekend I did my food storage space, and now it is like my favorite room in the house! Next, make sure that every item we pick up goes in one of the containers. Don't just pick it up and not know what to do with it so you put it back down. Then when the containers are full, put everything where it belongs. Trash goes in the trash. The donation box in the car to take when the job is done, put the keep items where they belong, and label the stuff you can't part with yet and put them in the garage or attic. Put a note on your calendar for 4 months from now. Go back to it and decide if you have been fine without it. Take that stuff and donate it or sell it. If it still has value, find a place for it. Once you are done, Reward yourself! Take a bath, give yourself a mani/pedi, make some cookies and eat them before the kids get home! You've worked hard for them!

Now, repeat after me. "Clutter in, Clutter out". This is our new mantra!! We are always going to have stuff start to collect in the nooks and cranies and dark corners of our homes. So lets declare war on the clutter! Have a place for everything and everything in its place. Keep a box somewhere ready for things that we grow out of, or don't use anymore for donation. Throw out garbage right away. Everytime you buy something new, the old thing it replaces goes out.

So, in our journals, lets divide up our houses into zones. Zone one might be your kitchen. Zone two, the living room. Zone three could be the bathrooms or office. You get the idea. Then use tomorrow or the weekend to to begin de-cluttering your first zone. Practice building it in blocks from our action steps to make it seem more managable. And don't forget your reward!!

Day Five- Connect With Your Spouse

Good afternoon! It has been a busy couple of days, and I thought today I would share a little of how I am doing on the tasks. I have to say that some of it is coming along great, but I am really struggling with some of the rest. I have decided that I am definitely NOT a morning person. So, I have scheduled high activity tasks for late morning to early afternoon and spend the morning with low activity tasks. I try to shower first thing, so I have a little help waking up. Nothing wakes me up like a glass of orange juice and a shower! My energy levels are still really struggling, but I am trying some of the suggestions. I am really enjoying the grazing thing! I am working on my attitude, but that is not just a daily struggle, it's an hourly, or even minute-ly battle. But my real struggle has been my words. Controling my speech, I am proud to say, is getting better, but still has a really long way to go. Even my closest friends may be surprised to know that I have a real struggle with profanity. And that is a habit that is hard to break. But my eyes are on my vision, and I am focusing on the baby steps that I achieve in order to keep moving forward! I hope this serves to help you out in recognizing that none of us are perfect. We just keep trying!! How are you doing? Leave me comments to let me know!

Todays topic in the book is a little sensitive, but I think Hannah addresses it tastefully and with understanding. The topic is sex. Now  I am not known for being shy when it comes to talking about sex, but I do recognize that others may be, and so I will try to reign in my enthusiasm! Hannah says that sex is a basic need that all of us have. But as women that can be hard to remember. After a full day of sweeping up Cheerios, trucking kids off to dance or soccer, dealing with homework, and fixing dinner, we are tired! The idea of donning a negligee and getting amorous is the furthest thing from our minds! However, it is necessary. Not only for keeping our husbands happy, (they ask so little) but for keeping us happy! I have alluded to various mental disorders that I suffer from, and I do take medication for said disorders. But I have found that after lovemaking I don't feel as much need for them. Not only do you need to have this pleasure in your life, but you deserve it!

One of the things that makes a healthy sex life hard is the lack of opportunity. I know that my husband and I have a very hrd time with this. To the point that we seem to only be able to "meet up" on his days off. The rest of the week we just get by with small touches in passing and kisses goodbye. But here are some suggestions that might help remedy that. One of which is grabbing quickies on the fly. Tell him you need him to check something in a private area of the house, and when you get him alone- attack! Not only are moments like this uplifting but they also create a certain intimacy between your spouse and yourself. I guarentee you you will never look at that room the same again! Also, be sure to schedule a date night once a week. This doesn't have to be a big dinner out, or a dress up affair. Just renting a fun movie to watch together after the kids are in bed is good enough. My husband and I sometimes get takeout and have a picnic in front of the tv. Feeding eachother and laughing together is great foreplay! Go to bed at the same time, and, instead of putting on regular pajamas, put on something silky or even get in bed nude. Husbands love to turn down the covers and see you lying in wait! Now morning sex is also really hard, as sometimes you both don't get up at the same time, but try it! It is a fantastic start to any day! Remember what your priorities are. You might feel more like watching television or catching up with friends on facebook, but isn't your time better spent enriching your relationship with your spouse instead?

Another obstacle you may be facing is a lack of drive. The first thing to do in this situation is to talk it over with your husband! Let him know that you are struggling and that it in no way has anything to do with him. Also, it is a good idea to clear your mind of everything else going on. As moms we have a million things on our mind all the time! But during times of togetherness just let all that go. Focus only on eachother and you'll be surprised at how much better everything else goes! Communicate your fantasies to him. Then, if possible, you can work together to mak them a reality!

The last main obstacle is a lack of confidence. Maybe you have put on a few pounds. Maybe you just feel frumpy. Maybe you think your breasts are too small, or your thighs too thick, or whatever it may be. But I'll tell you a secret. Psst: You care way more than he does!! All he cares about is getting to touch you. He doesn't care if there is a little extra jiggle. If you can overcome those little insecurities and give yourself without reservation, he'll be thanking his lucky stars to have married you! Another secret: Its all a matter of attitude! Sexual prowess comes not from appearance, but from confidence! Take little steps to show him the sexual kitten that hides inside you. Put on a touch of makeup before he gets home. A little mascara and some shiny lipgloss goes a long way to show him you made an effort. Remember when we took hours to get ready just to have him come over and hang out? Well, taking smaller steps can let him know you still care about that part of your life. Tousle your hair, put on his favorite perfume, try a shimmery body lotion. Small steps that help you feel sexier and therefore more willing to enjoy this pleasurable and fun part of life!

In your journal write down all the reasons you love your husband. Why you fell in love with him, and other things that you've discovered along the way! Thinking of all the positive attributes  he possesses makes it so much easier to get in the mood! Then think of some creative ways to put a little spice in your sex life! Do a striptease, play with food, or step into the shower with him when he doesn't expect it. and most of all, HAVE FUN!!

Day Four- Energize!

Hello Moms! If you were looking for this post yesterday, I apologize. I should have let you know that I intend to take Sundays off, as it is my time with my whole family all together. So let's pick it up where we left off! And the topic today is perfect for a Monday!

Today's topic is upping your energy. Now, I have not done this yet today, as I got a really crappy nights sleep on the couch. My husband was snoring (he has a cold) and is too big a man to wake up, much less kick out of bed! ;) So here I sit in my bathrobe at noon trying to peruse this chapter in the book and find what I need to do, as well as what you need to hear. It should come as no surprise then that the first thing Hannah lists is getting enough sleep! And the best way to do that is to make your room a true sanctuary. A peaceful place to rest and relax. Keep it as clutter free as possible. A clutter free room is a clutter free mind. A mind that rests much more easily and gets to sleep much faster. Second, get rid of the tv. We used to have a tv in our room and if my husband was home, (he often works graveyards) he wanted to watch the late show, and then surf for reruns. I used to joke that if he wanted sex he had to make his move before the Simpsons came on. After that I would be too tired. When he wasn't home I found myself staying up until well after midnight watching all kinds of crap. I would take a sleeping pill at night, stay up too late so then I would need some caffiene in the morning to keep up with my kids! I expected a fight when I told him I didn't want it in our room anymore, but surprisingly he agreed and going to bed has gotten more peaceful (not to mention more romantic, but more on that tomorrow ;0). I also have a scentsy candle in there that makes the room smell good and relaxes me. My room is my sanctuary and there are no kids allowed in unless invited! Now, I know that at least one of you has a new baby (Hi, Breezy!). Hannah addresses that too. She says that if you use your room as a nursery or an office, to try to compartmentalize as much as possible. Maybe put the baby in the corner and then use a dresser as a divider. You'll still have him/her in the room with you, but when you lay down, it still feels like your room. We kept my son as a baby in a basinet just outside the door in the hall. Sounds mean or cruel, but we were only in a two bedroom house, and that is what worked for us! NEVER let your kids sleep in the same bed as you! Even when my husband was in Iraq for a year and I was lonely, my kids still slept in their own beds. The dog however was a different story!

Next, she says to get moving and stay hydrated! One of the leading symptoms of dehydration is lethargy, and lethargy breeds lethargy, and procrastination breeds lazy and it goes on and on. I refer you back to Day Three's steps to taking action to get up and get moving! I recently bought a handy little water bottle that is easy to carry around with me (my doctor told me I needed to drink more water). It's 18 oz. and I just sip from it all day. Yesterday I drank three bottles full without really realizing it!

If the energy drain is too bad and you feel like you really need a nap, (especially new moms!) Hannah says to limit it to only 20-30 minutes. Any longer and your body starts trying to sleep a night schedule and you end up feeling groggier than when you lay down! Some other options might be to go outside for a few minutes. Soak up some vitamin D, and breathe some fresh air. Even (Or maybe especially) in the winter this can be really invigorating. Maybe taking a vitamin supplement heavy in the B vitamins will also help. I have a hard time with this one too, though. Vitamins usually make me nauseous. If any of you have some suggestions on how to remedy that, let me know! Put on some feel good music and dance around as you do the dishes, or vacuum the floor. Keeping your body fueled (fed) will also help. I am really bad at this one, as I never feel like eating. But Hannah suggests instead of eating three big meals, to just graze throughout the day. Grab a piece of fruit first thing in the morning. Have some juice or milk an hour later. Have a handful of whole grain cereal an hour after that. Keep cut up veggies in the fridge to just grab for a quick snack. She says that grazing not only keeps your energy up, but keeps your metabolizm working all day so your burning off more and can maintain a healthy weight. I intend to try this, as I sometimes find it overwhelming to have to sit and find something to fix for breakfast or lunch. Do fix a big dinner, though. This is precious time with your family to touch base with what is going on in eachothers lives.

One of her suggestions, and one that I use almost constantly, is breathing. I use this not only for energy (actually rarely for energy, but it is a pleasant side effect) but for relaxation, or give myself a timeout to calm myself down if the kids are doing something to misbehave, or my husband is on my nerves. Hers is to sit on the floor (either cross-legged or in lotus) with your back straight and breathe in for seven seconds, hold for seven seconds, and then breathe out for seven seconds. You can sit straight in a chair if the floor is too uncomfortable. Consciously tell yourself to breathe in energy and to breathe out fatigue. After about five reps, push down on your knees with your hands and arch your back as you breathe in, and then straighten as you breathe out. This feels so good, as I just tried it and love it!! I also have a plethera of other breathing techniques given to me by my therapist that have many other suggestions. Let me know if you want some.

Lastly, you need to tune in to your own body. Pay attention to those times during the day when you feel the most energized. Take note of those times when the fatigue starts to creep in. Once you are in tune to your body, you can take advantage of the high energy times and get more done, and then let yourself chill and do some of these exercises to gain your energy back during the low energy times. She says to schedule your low energy tasks when you are at your highest point. You don't want to be falling asleep while you are paying your bills or checking your email. You also want to be moving during your low energy times, so schedule your high activity tasks then. This is her suggestion, and it doesn't work for me, but it may do miracles for you!

So, journal assignment. Write down the things and times during your day that drain your energy. Whether it be that new baby, stress, kids, or just the midafternoon blues, get it all out on paper. Isn't it amazing how freeing that is? Then write down some of todays tips for getting your energy up that may work for you, or come up with your own!! Writing it down, not only solidifies it in your head, but also helps to remind you of other alternatives to that high sugar snack or caffeinated drink. Also, take some time to go in your bedroom and see what needs done to make it your own sanctuary. Do some decluttering, change the sheets if necessary. Make your bed!  Put a few drops of fabric softener in a spray bottle of water and lightly spray the sheets with that good, clean smell! Now get off the computer and  Do It Now! Tee-hee.

Day Three- Attitude and Action

Okay moms. We've talked about our thoughts, we've talked about our words. Now its time to talk about what I have decided to call the two A's. Attitude, and Action. These two tools can be a powerful source for good or bad. So today we are going to learn how to use them to make our homes a better place. And I know we all want that!

First, we have to check our attitude. Your state of mind is a powerful thing. Have you noticed that when you feel strong, confident, and positive that things seem to go great. The world is your oyster. You can accomplish anything! But the opposite is also true. If your feeling down, depressed, or weak then nothing seems to go your way. Kids misbehave, house seems to fall apart, you feel completely powerless. So, what do we do? Here are some tips that I have learned. I am not claiming to be good at any of these, because those of you who know me know it is a real struggle for me, but I hope that they can help you. Some are from other sources besides Hannah's book, but they are all good.

#1. When you wake up in the morning, before you even get out of bed, smile. Your brain doesn't know what is real. It only knows what you tell it. Smiling makes it believe that you are happy and releases the endorphins that make you feel on top of the world. So, even if you don't feel like it, just smile! :)

#2. Find a watch with a timer, an egg timer, or anything that will beep every hour. This will be your attitude check. Everytime it beeps check your attitude and your actions. If your a little off where you want to be, stop, think of a positive thought. Do some deep breathing. Stretch. All of this interrupts the negative and starts those endorphins again. Hannah does this every day.

#3. Live life on purpose! When life throws you bumps in the road, make a conscious effort to get over it. Focus on your vision. Take positive action. Focus on what you have already accomplished, instead of how far you have to go. Think of all the things you love about your kids or spouse instead of what they are doing to annoy you. Take control of your finances, instead of worrying about bills. The easiest way to push out the bad, is by focusing on the good!

#4 Acknowledge if other factors are involved. My therapist (Yes, I have one) calls it H.A.L.T. Are you hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? These are usually the four main reasons negativity starts to invade our thoughts, feelings and actions. So take care of them! If your hungry, grab a healthy snack. If your angry, take a time out to calm down. If your lonely, call your spouse or a good friend. If your tired, take a short nap, go for a walk, or sit down with a good book to rest a minute. Once these needs are met, you'd be surprised at how much better you feel.

Now lets talk about our actions. As you can see above, our attitude drives our actions. Once our attitude is powerful and empowering, our actions become productive and positive. Hannah gives seven ways to make our actions work for us instead of against us, which I have listed and commented on.

#1 Piggyback your tasks. She says that while you are doing one thing, you can throw in another smaller task. While fixing your kids lunch, rinse the breakfast dishes. After washing your hands in the bathroom, wipe off the counters. When we walk through a room, we can pick up a few toys or some trash on our way. You can easily do much more in the same amount of time every day.

#2 Take baby steps. Don't bite off more than you can chew!! If you set your sights to high, you are just setting yourself up for failure. You eat an elephant one bite at a time. So don't focus on the elephant, focus on the first bite. Be in this moment. Accomplish this moment. Live in this moment. In the book, Hannah calls them magic moments. We don't have chunks of time to do things. We have moments. Make them count!

#3 Have fun! Don't want to exercise? Put on some fun music and dance around with your kids. Don't want to clean up? Make a game out of it. See how much you can do in one minute, 30 seconds, or even ten! Life is to short to hate what you do. Find the fun in everything you do!

#4 Be selective. Don't expect perfection. Shove stuff under the bed or couch until you can get to it. Only mop the dirty parts of the floor. If you can learn to take a few shortcuts, you will do things more effectively. If what you want is perfection, it is much harder to get motivated to do it. Be satisfied that the toys are picked up and save the vacuuming for later. Be selective.

#5 Build it in blocks. Set blocks of time in order to get a task done. If we know there is a finishing point, it makes it easier to get started. I heard a talk on KBYU one night that said to just do a task for ten minutes. At the end of that time, I can stop. Or, if I am now feeling motivated, I can keep going. Or set a number of things that need picked up, or a number of dishes to wash. Doing things in small amounts of time still gets them done!

#6 Reward yourself. Sometimes we just need incentive. It's easy to fold all the laundry if you know there is a bubble bath waiting for you when your done. It's easy to vacuum the house if you know there's a good book on your nightstand. Put off what you want to do now as a reward when you finish a task. Just because we are moms doesn't mean we are serving a prison sentence! Take time for you!

#7 Do it now! If you see something that needs to be done, stop making excuses and get moving. Hannah says not to let the work pile up. How often have you taken the clothes out of the dryer and piled them on the couch or the bed. How much harder is it then to start folding them? If you do it right away, the tasks are much smaller, and they get done!

Okay, so now for our journal exercises. Yesterday we wrote down four categories: Home, Health, Family, and Life. Today in these categories write down areas of common problems in your attitude and actions. Follow that with ways to use the action skills above. Then do it! You should also have some kind of system for organizing your tasks. Your schedule, calendar, all the many lists we as moms keep. Have a binder or planner where you can keep all of this in one place. Now write down some of the action steps on your calendar so that you don't let them slip by. I have down to start walking my dogs in the morning after I send the kids off to school. This way we all get exercised! Remember, too, to keep it fun and reward yourself!

One last thought. Think creatively and keep your actions in line with your vision. Go through your list and visualize yourself doing them and how you feel when they are done. Keep your thoughts positive and feel the power that flows through you as you accomplish each one of these goals. I know you can do it! Get started now!

P.S. Don't forget to leave me your comments on how you are doing. We are accountable to eachother!

Day Two- Words That Work

You did it! You've succeeded in taking the first step toward become a better mom. Now that you have everything on paper, I hope you will refer to it often to remind yourself of what your vision truly is and evaluate how you are doing to get there! Feel free to add to it as other stuff pops in you mind.

Now that we've taken a step towards controlling some of our thoughts, today's step is all about our words. Words can be very powerful and once spoken aloud can dictate our mood, our behavior, and our lives. Words can be a source of black magic, or white magic not just in our lives, but also in the lives of our loved ones. How do we feel when someone tells us we can't? How do our children feel? I recently heard my 11 year old (almost) listening to a song by Selena Gomez, who she adores. I've posted the lyrics and hope you will take a minute to read them and really internalize the meaning when it comes to our kids. Who says they aren't perfect? In my eyes, my kids are perfect, but I am not very good at telling them so.

So, lets take steps to power up our vocabularies!! I think that when it comes to our homes, we tend to loosen up and let our hair down. We say things at home that we would never say in public ( ;) although those that know me probably wouldn't accuse me of this as I can be pretty blunt/crude at times) And we all know our children absorb everything we do and say. If you've ever listened in on your children playing (or arguing) you know that they are using the words you use, almost with the exact inflection and tone even. I know I have learned plenty of times that kids repeat what they hear and have had to watch what I say to and about other people around them. In fact it is when we don't think they are listening that they are actually listening the most! Take advantage of this!! Use those times to really talk your kids up! Say what a big help they are, how great they are doing in school, or just what a great kid in general they can be. This has the power to move mountains!!

As I said before, I am not very good at telling my kids how terrific they really are. Something that I have found helpful is to speak to their spirits. Let them hear you pray for them by name and individually, addressing things that you've noticed about them to our Father in Heaven. Also I found that it is easier to talk to them when they are asleep. I sometimes sneak into their rooms and just gently stroke thier hair and whisper how glad I am that they are in my life and how much I love them. For me this works miracles!

Now, get out your "journal" I spoke of starting yesterday and make two columns. In the first column write down all of the negative things you say, not just to them but also around the house or about yourself (kids pick up on this too!). Then in the second column write down a more positive way to say that same thing. For example, if you are always saying how sick and tired you are of this or that, instead try saying that that thing is challenging you, or helping you to grow. Instead of saying you need to lose weight or wish for a healthier body; instead try saying that you are working on getting healthy. then ask yourself the question. What is it that you really want? I have posted this question around my house this morning and hope it will serve as a reminder when I feel about ready to yell at or demean myself or my kids. I worked on this list all morning and know it is extremely difficult to come up with those positive counterparts, but do not give up! once we have them written down we can more easily refer to them and incorporate them into our daily vocabulary.

On the next page, make four columns and label them: Home, Health, Family, and Life. In each of these columns write down positive and empowering statements that you can say to yourself whenever one of these areas becomes too overwhelming. Just saying outlous, "I love my home." can completely transform your attitude about the house you live in. Read these words every day and remind yourself of what you truly have and are thankful for. As you begin meeting your goals in each of these areas you can add to them and let your self talk grow along with you!

I know that controlling our words is not an easy task. Especially since we all know that as soon as we say we want to do better, on of our kids will have a breakdown in the store and our temper thermometers will be at its peak. But just remember that is a process and we can always start over from that moment. One of my favorite quotes from Hannah is "Sloppy success is better than perfect failure." So keep trying! It may not be pretty, but it is worth the effort! Have a good day and have fun with it!

Day One-Get Ready, Get Set

Hi! I came across a book in the library one day, quite by accident, and wanted to share it with all my friends. It being September 1st I thought it is a great day for those of you who feel like me to start becoming a better mom! The book is called "Total Mom Makeover" and I am embarking on a journey. A journey to become the best mom I can be! Join me won't you?

So let's started!! Now, if your like me the first thing that happens when you say "I want to be a better mom", your mind starts saying, "I should do this. I could do that." Or "I would be doing that if only this..." So the first step is to write down all of these thoughts in a notebook that will from now on be your Better Mom Journal. I would post mine, but it is too long to get in one shot!! I'll just give a few examples to get your minds working. I should be better at my personal prayers. I should listen to my kids more. I should keep a cleaner house. I should eat better. I should exercise more. I should control my spending. I should be a better cook. My list goes on and on. So take some time to really think about all those things floating around in your head and get them down on paper. Once you do that, not only will you feel better, but you also now get to forget about it!!

Because your mind is now empty of all these things you "should be doing", you can now visualize what you REALLY want. This is hard. We as mom's almost never think about what we want. We are great at what we DON'T want. So, visualize what you look like, what you feel like, what your house looks like, how you are progressing spiritually. Picture every single detail. Then write down "I want to complete this mom makeover because..." and write down what your vision is. Some of my statements include; "I am a woman who doesn't allow all the garbage of life to clutter my mind and soul." "My time with my children is fun. We share a connection in which they are comfortable coming to me with their problems or doubts." "I am immovable and steadfast in my faith." I share these statements not to brag, because heaven knows I am not yet any of these things. I share them to get you thinking. I share them to hold myself accountable to not only myself, but to you as well. I have also posted a visual reminder I made for myself that reminds me of what my vision truly is. This would also be a good idea for you too! I used the Ensigns and Friends (LDS Magazines) for my spiritual goals.

Guys, this is something I am really committed to and even if you don't want to participate, I appreciate you reading. It will keep me on the right track. One of the goals in the book is to tell someone about it, because by sharing my decision I have taken a huge step in fulfilling it. Join me on this quest! Post below your commitment, and add your email address to recieve a post daily with new goals and action steps to take to get where your vision takes you!

A word of warning!! Once you decide to take steps toward becoming a better person, the world will fight you tooth and nail. But the more obstacles you overcome, the more skills you develop.